Something you should know...

There is more than one way to get divorced. In fact, no matter where you are in the process, you can decide that you want to choose a different route.

Here are the different ways:

Pro per/Pro se- In the Pro per/Pro se model, the parties act as their own counsel using prepared forms to file for divorce. This works for couples who do not have children or property to divide. This is the least expensive way to obtain a divorce. It is easy to make errors when doing it yourself. In these instances the paperwork is rejected by the court and has to be redone.

Litigation – Litigation is the most traditional way to seek a divorce. Each party retains a lawyer and the process becomes adversarial, most often ending up in court where a judge decides the issues of the divorce. This process can be very long and expensive. It is also usually a winner vs loser outcome.

Mediation- With Mediation, the divorcing couple works with a mediator who acts as a neutral party not representing either party. The mediator facilitates problem solving aimed at reaching a negotiated agreement by helping clients understand issues, facts, and explore options. The mediator helps the couple reach agreements to resolve the issues of the divorce. This process is less expensive than an adversarial divorce and often a shorter process. Resolution can be very personal and the process is private and confidential. There is no court appearance. This process is very family oriented and can involve neutral specialists as needed, such as, financial experts or child therapists.

Collaborative- The Collaborative model utilizes the skills and backgrounds of an interdisciplinary team selected by the clients. This team works with the entire family, ensuring consideration of the couple’s needs, children’s needs, family financial needs, and the legal aspects of the case. The divorcing parties choose their team and are in control of the outcome. As they work through the issues of the divorce, the team is present to assist them. Even though there are more people involved, the process is usually less expensive and shorter than a litigated divorce.
The team’s goal is to help the couple achieve a positive resolution and minimize the negative economic and social-emotional consequences families often experience in a litigated divorce process.

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Questions to ask yourself regarding your divorce:

-Can you work together for the sake of your children?
-Can you talk about your finances?
-Can you make important decisions without going to Court?
-Are you more interested in moving on with your life than in perpetrating a marital battle in court?
-Do you want your divorce to be private between you and your spouse and not have your relationship aired in public?
-Do you want to end the emotional battle--the anger, upset, and fighting?
-Do you want to be in control of your future and not dependent on who has the best attorney?
-Do you want the cost of obtaining your divorce to be as much as 80% less?

These questions can help you to decide whether your situation is suited for a mediated or collaborative divorce.

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Mediation or Collaborative Divorce provides a way to address the challenges of your separation or divorce in a non-adversarial process where you can select the professionals who help you through your divorce.

A Mediated divorce consists of you and your spouse and your trained  mediator. If other specialists are needed, such as a certified divorce financial specialist, you can choose whom you would like to work with. Your mediator can help you with those decisions.

A Collaborative Divorce Team consists of Two Collaborative Lawyers, one or two Divorce Coaches, a neutral Collaborative Financial Specialist and a neutral Child Specialist. Each of you selects your own Collaborative Lawyer and Divorce Coach. Together you select a neutral Financial Specialist and a Child Specialist.

You will make your own decisions, creating a plan for your children and a financial plan for the future. 

A Mediator, as well as, a Collaborative Divorce team has specialized training to help you:

-Learn better ways to communicate
-Answer questions you have about divorce
-Deal with emotions
-Make informed choices for the future
-Address your parenting and time sharing concerns
-Create a parenting plan
-Develop a financial plan
-Reach agreements

In a series of meetings with your mediator or members of your Collaborative Divorce Team, you can settle your divorce without going to Court. This makes it take less time and is also often much less expensive than a litigated divorce.